The morning after
Ok so I have a massive hangover and that accounts for some of it but with such great news why do I feel like somethings not right... it dawns on me it's not over, there are more results to come. The path results.
I get them a week later, these ones weren't so pretty, or were they. This is where it starts to get all twisted and it's all a matter of perspective.
I'm triple neg, this means that they can't use herceptin.. this is bad because that's one less weapon in the arsenal. This is also good because cancers that respond to herceptin can be aggressive.
It also mean that we can't use hormone to control a recurrence... another whole set of weapons gone = bad. but I don't need to use hormones for the next 10 years and all that comes with that = good.
so all they can use if chemo, but there are several, or should I say lots available and more being trialled all the time.
But I'm thinking why would I need any of them, the tumor was removed with surgery wasn't it?
It was also grade 3 (or should I say they, there were 2 tumors after all and in case you're wondering no it doesn't spread from one breast to another like that, it was pure coincidence, or maybe genetics). Now this is also bad news. Grade 3 means it was fast growing = BAD. but it wasn't in my body long because it was fast growing, so had little time to spread = VERY VERY GOOD.
AAAArgh, is this good news or bad, who can tell.
I now know that it's just results, and there will be a nice long wait until I see my oncologist... but in the meantime it's time to get back to living.